Listen

Listen and you just might hear something that will help you connect to a potential client, friend, or fellow human being. So often, we spend too much time waiting for our turn to talk, we forget that LISTENING, really listening, is critical to building relationships.

This... coming from the girl who wore tape on her mouth for most of kindergarten because I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

You know the saying, "you have two ears and one mouth, so you should be listening twice as much as you talk?" It is true - try it. Here are some ideas and observations:

When interviewing: Write down your questions ahead of time, so you are not thinking of the next question as the candidate is answering. Listen for the story behind each answer. Listen for truth. Then, ask questions that help you link their answer to a job qualification or competency.

When meeting people: Ask about them first - and then listen for the answer. I know, you have a great story to tell. You'll have time. In new situations, listening becomes a trust builder. You will earn the respect of the other party by simply listening to what they have to say.

With employees: Guess what? Your employees have opinions, ideas and information. Why not take a few minutes each day and ask what their opinion is on a hot topic you are struggling with. Ask them what ideas they have for a problem you are trying to solve. Ask what their experience has been with a situation you might be stuck on. Employees want to feel as though they are being heard. Even if you don't take their advice - ask the question and listen to what comes next.

The next time you are in a conversation, I challenge you to fold your hands, look into the eyes of your counterpart, and listen. You'll be surprised at the peace you feel, and the trust you build.

Ericka Heid, SPHR

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