Adapting to the communication needs of others is critical in any communication - but specifically important during conflict. To resolve conflict one needs to hear, as well as be heard.
Style: Stable
They are agreeable, cooperative, team oriented, and sensitive to others feelings. They may get quiet and withdrawn during conflict. Feelings may be hurt by how you talk with them. May resist or avoid change. Their motto is, "If it ain't broke - don't fix it!"
Strategy:
Prepare them for change. Ask for input and contributions. Provide ongoing feedback. Appreciate their efforts. Encourage them to express their feelings. Be respectful and stay calm.
Style: Thorough
They are logical and analytical. They ask questions, thrive on organization and can be a task master. Often sees the downside first. Frequently stuck in "analysis paralysis". Avoids dealing with feelings. Their motto is, "If you can't do it right, don't do it at all."
Strategy:
Recognize their expertise and analytical skills - use them to your advantage. Assure quality results and heightened standards. Help them set realistic expectations with timely deadlines.
Style: Emotional
They are social butterflies, outgoing, people-oriented. Persuasive and friendly, they are the ones who get people working together and starting new projects. They may be too focused on feelings and have trouble dealing with business. Will avoid dealing with conflict because they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Their motto is, "Let's relax and have fun."
Strategy:
Include them in decision making - help them include facts as well as feelings into this process. Avoid personal criticism - appeal to their need to be accepted and liked. Have a system for resolving problems and conflicts. Provide opportunities for them to use their people skills.
Style: Pusher
Fast moving, sees new ideas and gets things done fast. Tend to be direct and forceful in order to get things done. May become impatient with lots of detail and questions. May appear unfriendly. Their motto is, "Just do it this way."
Strategy:
Avoid arguing - provide choices and options instead of telling them what to do. Help them to consider others feelings while being patient and supportive. Focus on the need for quick results.
Ericka Heid
HR Now
http://www.h-r-now.com/
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Resolve It!
Like death and taxes, conflict seems to be an inevitable part of life. Because we all see the world through our own "lenses", there is plenty of opportunity for misinterpretation, miscommunication, or just opposing opinions. I'd like to argue that conflict is wonderful. It affords us the opportunity to learn more about another person, a new idea, or a different paradigm. I hope you enjoy these tips for conflict resolution success!
1. There will always be conflict
You can not eliminate it, but you can be prepared for it. Can you think of an environment without conflict?
2. Focus on the objective
Ask yourself, “What is the objective?” When you know this, you can focus on the process, not the other way around. It is natural to go right to focusing on the process first, because we want the situation to change; but a good place to start is defining the desired outcome.
3. Focus on interests, not positions
Enlarge the scope of possibilities. You will need lots of options in order to effectively resolve conflict. In our culture (individualistic and competitive) we tend to focus on “I’m right, and you are wrong.” Ask each involved to get past that in order to start work on creating new possibilities.
4. Seek win-win, not win-lose
There should never be a “loser” in conflict. Both sides should leave feeling as though they have gained something.
5. Ask yourself: What opinions do you currently hold of each participant, their side of the story, your idea of who is “wrong” or “right”? This is the lens with which you are seeing the conflict. Become aware of this and see your opinion only for what it is – your opinion.
6. Embrace it!
It is healthy. When you resist it, it stays, grows and you're stuck with it. When you embrace it, it looses its power. Use the other person’s strengths (or their momentum) to your advantage (Martial Arts rule of thumb.)
7. Develop a process to get a desired outcome
Only do this after you have decided on the objective.
8. Always acknowledge the other
Seek first to understand. Doing so will make a “deposit” into the emotional bank account of the other party, which will increase your credibility with that person.
9. Ask yourself “What is it about my belief system that causes me to think and act the way I do?”
What lens does each party wear? What do they desire to have respected by the other? What are their expectations?
10. Approach with a positive attitude
Our attitude is the only thing we control. It is more important than status, degrees that you have, your position, or money.
1. There will always be conflict
You can not eliminate it, but you can be prepared for it. Can you think of an environment without conflict?
2. Focus on the objective
Ask yourself, “What is the objective?” When you know this, you can focus on the process, not the other way around. It is natural to go right to focusing on the process first, because we want the situation to change; but a good place to start is defining the desired outcome.
3. Focus on interests, not positions
Enlarge the scope of possibilities. You will need lots of options in order to effectively resolve conflict. In our culture (individualistic and competitive) we tend to focus on “I’m right, and you are wrong.” Ask each involved to get past that in order to start work on creating new possibilities.
4. Seek win-win, not win-lose
There should never be a “loser” in conflict. Both sides should leave feeling as though they have gained something.
5. Ask yourself: What opinions do you currently hold of each participant, their side of the story, your idea of who is “wrong” or “right”? This is the lens with which you are seeing the conflict. Become aware of this and see your opinion only for what it is – your opinion.
6. Embrace it!
It is healthy. When you resist it, it stays, grows and you're stuck with it. When you embrace it, it looses its power. Use the other person’s strengths (or their momentum) to your advantage (Martial Arts rule of thumb.)
7. Develop a process to get a desired outcome
Only do this after you have decided on the objective.
8. Always acknowledge the other
Seek first to understand. Doing so will make a “deposit” into the emotional bank account of the other party, which will increase your credibility with that person.
9. Ask yourself “What is it about my belief system that causes me to think and act the way I do?”
What lens does each party wear? What do they desire to have respected by the other? What are their expectations?
10. Approach with a positive attitude
Our attitude is the only thing we control. It is more important than status, degrees that you have, your position, or money.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Conflict is an Opportunity
Conflict Is An Opportunity...
Having conflict with anyone can be terrible. It can be hurtful, disrespectful, and harm your relationships.
Having conflict can be wonderful. It can be honest, show respect, and strengthen relationships.
Lately, I have seen conflict dealt with in a less than desirable way, so let's learn from those mistakes...
Ignoring the situation
Ignoring a conflict is one of the most common responses people have when confronted with a conflict situation. Instead of actively trying to manage the conflict, we avoid the issue and desperately hope things will get better. Face it: unless we take definitive action, the situation will probably get worse.
Becoming Aggressive
This is an “in your face” approach. Some people get so energized about addressing conflict that they become aggressive. It’s open communication, but it’s brutal. An attack usually leads to a counter-attack, which is counter productive.
With both of these types of behaviors, there are bound to be negative effects. Some of which include; damaged team spirit, declining productivity, arguments, accusations, lowered job satisfaction, and - at its worst - health problems.
So, remember the Aiki Approach
Be Willing to Understand....
§ Is the gift that comes from listening
§ Is asking questions rather than having the answer
§ Allows differences to fade and similarities to come forth
§ Naturally acknowledges and appreciates the other person
§ Moves us from issue to vision
§ Creates movement from stalemate to resolution
“Learning, growing, and cooperating are goals for resolving conflict” – Thomas Crum
Ericka Heid
HR Now
www.h-r-now.com
Having conflict with anyone can be terrible. It can be hurtful, disrespectful, and harm your relationships.
Having conflict can be wonderful. It can be honest, show respect, and strengthen relationships.
Lately, I have seen conflict dealt with in a less than desirable way, so let's learn from those mistakes...
Ignoring the situation
Ignoring a conflict is one of the most common responses people have when confronted with a conflict situation. Instead of actively trying to manage the conflict, we avoid the issue and desperately hope things will get better. Face it: unless we take definitive action, the situation will probably get worse.
Becoming Aggressive
This is an “in your face” approach. Some people get so energized about addressing conflict that they become aggressive. It’s open communication, but it’s brutal. An attack usually leads to a counter-attack, which is counter productive.
With both of these types of behaviors, there are bound to be negative effects. Some of which include; damaged team spirit, declining productivity, arguments, accusations, lowered job satisfaction, and - at its worst - health problems.
So, remember the Aiki Approach
Be Willing to Understand....
§ Is the gift that comes from listening
§ Is asking questions rather than having the answer
§ Allows differences to fade and similarities to come forth
§ Naturally acknowledges and appreciates the other person
§ Moves us from issue to vision
§ Creates movement from stalemate to resolution
“Learning, growing, and cooperating are goals for resolving conflict” – Thomas Crum
Ericka Heid
HR Now
www.h-r-now.com
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Building Trust
Building trust should be a conscious effort for managers, because boss-employee relationships often begin with disempowering assumptions and expectations that can cause staff members to distrust their managers and withhold information. For example, employees may assume, based on their past experience of managers or other authority figures, that their manager is looking for ways to judge and criticize their work. They may assume that their manager prefers to keep them at their current level so as not to challenge the manager's own job security. They may expect to keep to 'their place' and refrain from interfering in the work of their seniors, challenging the organization or learning 'too much'. They may further assume that it would work to their disadvantage to reveal any aspirations that do not relate directly to their current job. To be effective, a coaching manager must dispel such disempowering assumptions.
Here are some key techniques for greatly increasing the level of trust between you as the manager, and your team members.
• Open yourself first.
Share your strengths and weaknesses. Share your mistakes and achievements. I don't mean that you have to talk a lot or reveal a lot of personal details. You must simply display your willingness to reveal what is relevant and to treat your own and other's shortcomings lightly and positively. If you can accept your own weaknesses, it is much more likely that you will be able to accept other's shortcomings as well. Your team members will feel relief that they are not the only ones to have made mistakes. They will feel much more trust for someone they can know well. They will begin to model your openness.
Have a frank conversation with each employee about how you want to relate to them and ask for their support.
This is the simplest and most direct way to initiate a more trusting relationship, regardless of the current level of trust you have. If your relationship has been rocky in the past, or if you believe your employee is resistant to opening up, you may want to prepare for a diplomatic conversation including plenty of listening. Your willingness to discuss such issues directly will impress your employees of the importance you place on your relationship.
Listen to them fully.
Give them a chance to be heard. Listen beyond their words for deeper understanding of their intentions, needs and assumptions. Deep listening builds understanding and trust. And it is something that all of us can do, as long as we give ourselves time and focus. That means we have to stop both external and internal distractions and be fully present to the other person. Although listening is a basic skill for all communicators, it is a skill that can be developed further through practice and attention.
Openly appreciate them.
Be generous with your praise. Point out the specifics of their personality and behavior that add value. Many managers feel hesitant to appreciate and assume there is a risk of appreciating 'too much'. But these managers underestimate the power of positive feedback, even though they may have benefited from it personally. Have you experienced the burst of enthusiasm and initiative that comes from effective positive feedback? This is valuable energy that can be generated easily through frequent recognition and that leads to increased trust. In my experience, appreciation and recognition is only 'over used' when it is insincere. There are many different ways to appreciate and recognize people that will help you retain full sincerity and positive effect. Nonetheless it is useful for managers to also build their proficiency in giving positive corrective feedback so that they can freely give both while further enhancing the trusting and supportive relationships they have with their people.
Do what you say you will do.
Be reliable and consistent. Of course, the basis of trust is that we abide by our agreements and contracts. And even unspoken expectations act like promises that reduce trust when they are broken. For example, if you are usually calm when you learn of poor sales results, and then one day you lose your patience and blurt out your frustrations, people will lose trust in you because they can no longer be sure that you will react they as expect.
Ericka Heid
www.h-r-now.com
HR Now
Here are some key techniques for greatly increasing the level of trust between you as the manager, and your team members.
• Open yourself first.
Share your strengths and weaknesses. Share your mistakes and achievements. I don't mean that you have to talk a lot or reveal a lot of personal details. You must simply display your willingness to reveal what is relevant and to treat your own and other's shortcomings lightly and positively. If you can accept your own weaknesses, it is much more likely that you will be able to accept other's shortcomings as well. Your team members will feel relief that they are not the only ones to have made mistakes. They will feel much more trust for someone they can know well. They will begin to model your openness.
Have a frank conversation with each employee about how you want to relate to them and ask for their support.
This is the simplest and most direct way to initiate a more trusting relationship, regardless of the current level of trust you have. If your relationship has been rocky in the past, or if you believe your employee is resistant to opening up, you may want to prepare for a diplomatic conversation including plenty of listening. Your willingness to discuss such issues directly will impress your employees of the importance you place on your relationship.
Listen to them fully.
Give them a chance to be heard. Listen beyond their words for deeper understanding of their intentions, needs and assumptions. Deep listening builds understanding and trust. And it is something that all of us can do, as long as we give ourselves time and focus. That means we have to stop both external and internal distractions and be fully present to the other person. Although listening is a basic skill for all communicators, it is a skill that can be developed further through practice and attention.
Openly appreciate them.
Be generous with your praise. Point out the specifics of their personality and behavior that add value. Many managers feel hesitant to appreciate and assume there is a risk of appreciating 'too much'. But these managers underestimate the power of positive feedback, even though they may have benefited from it personally. Have you experienced the burst of enthusiasm and initiative that comes from effective positive feedback? This is valuable energy that can be generated easily through frequent recognition and that leads to increased trust. In my experience, appreciation and recognition is only 'over used' when it is insincere. There are many different ways to appreciate and recognize people that will help you retain full sincerity and positive effect. Nonetheless it is useful for managers to also build their proficiency in giving positive corrective feedback so that they can freely give both while further enhancing the trusting and supportive relationships they have with their people.
Do what you say you will do.
Be reliable and consistent. Of course, the basis of trust is that we abide by our agreements and contracts. And even unspoken expectations act like promises that reduce trust when they are broken. For example, if you are usually calm when you learn of poor sales results, and then one day you lose your patience and blurt out your frustrations, people will lose trust in you because they can no longer be sure that you will react they as expect.
Ericka Heid
www.h-r-now.com
HR Now
Management's Role in Employee Motivation
82% of departing employees will say that the reason they started looking for another job was due to the relationship with their manager. Managers, given this statistic, can we all agree that you have a special role in retaining your employees?
It is true that managers can not "create" motivation within an employee, but what they can do is create an environment that is motivating to their employees.
Want another scary statistic? Almost 90% of employees, when surveyed, say that communication breakdown within their organization is a problem at work - and creates an unmotivating and dis-engaging phenomena at the office.
Be proactive - try a few, easy tips for creating a motivating work environment by increasing your communication strategy:
1. Give effective praise that portrays sincerity
2. Deliver criticism without creating confrontation and conflict
3. Conduct or participate in effective performance review discussions
4. Conducte or participate in an effective interview for a new job or promotion
5. Make an apology that touches the heart and convinces the mind
6. Ask effective questions to probe for facts and provoke for ideas
7. Discuss conflict without offending
8. Communicate to build rapport and create trust
9. Communicate to create collaboration and engage your staff
10. Communicate to resolve conflict and reach agreement
Ericka Heid
www.h-r-now.com
HR Now
It is true that managers can not "create" motivation within an employee, but what they can do is create an environment that is motivating to their employees.
Want another scary statistic? Almost 90% of employees, when surveyed, say that communication breakdown within their organization is a problem at work - and creates an unmotivating and dis-engaging phenomena at the office.
Be proactive - try a few, easy tips for creating a motivating work environment by increasing your communication strategy:
1. Give effective praise that portrays sincerity
2. Deliver criticism without creating confrontation and conflict
3. Conduct or participate in effective performance review discussions
4. Conducte or participate in an effective interview for a new job or promotion
5. Make an apology that touches the heart and convinces the mind
6. Ask effective questions to probe for facts and provoke for ideas
7. Discuss conflict without offending
8. Communicate to build rapport and create trust
9. Communicate to create collaboration and engage your staff
10. Communicate to resolve conflict and reach agreement
Ericka Heid
www.h-r-now.com
HR Now
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
What Not To Wear
With the ever popular show, "What Not To Wear", in re-run status and showing on several networks at several different times you'd think we, as a society, would have gotten it by now. But no - sadly, we haven't. Business casual has somehow turned into jeans and a polo shirt for men, and a tank top with a short skirt for women.
So, for those of you who are looking for a policy directing your staff "What Not To Wear" - click here and mention this blog for a no charge policy that you can use to educate your employees. For those of you who are not sure what is acceptable at work, or are just needing some general guidelines, read on:
1. Ladies, no straps - no armpits - no backs. If you are exposing shoulders or your back, you are not business casual -that is summer wear. Be careful to cover bra straps. There is never a good excuse to show straps.
2. Men, no pants that have pockets at or below your knees. Cargo pants are not business casual - ever. Also, no pants that have a worn area around your wallet - throw them out and start over.
3. Ladies, no sandals. Open toed professional shoes are okay (in some office settings) - strappy sandals are for the beach.
4. Gents, if you are wearing a polo shirt - be sure it is pressed and in GREAT shape.
5. No matter who you are, your outfit should FIT. This means no tight pants, shirts or dresses. Err on the side of too big vs. too small. There is nothing worse than ill fitting clothing - everyone feels uncomfortable in that situation.
6. Men, Cosby Sweaters went out in the early '90's. Donate them and start over with some current trends.
7. There is no reason for fishnet or lacey tights at work. Please, don't do it.
8. Tattoos are personal. Keep them covered and out of site. Piercings too. Maybe it isn't fair, but others make judgements about you and your odd piercings. Take them out at work. The obvious exception - earrings.
9. Ladies, cleavage is NOT acceptable at work. As a matter of fact, there are studies that show a direct correlation between showing cleavage and a stagnated career. Move up the ladder by showing less, not more.
10. All, remember the 3 unacceptable "B's". No breasts, behinds, or bellies. Find clothing that de-accentuates your flaws and makes you look and feel great.
I've long said, "If you wouldn't wear it to an interview - you shouldn't wear it to work."
Look great - find success!
Ericka Heid
HR Now
www.h-r-now.com
So, for those of you who are looking for a policy directing your staff "What Not To Wear" - click here and mention this blog for a no charge policy that you can use to educate your employees. For those of you who are not sure what is acceptable at work, or are just needing some general guidelines, read on:
1. Ladies, no straps - no armpits - no backs. If you are exposing shoulders or your back, you are not business casual -that is summer wear. Be careful to cover bra straps. There is never a good excuse to show straps.
2. Men, no pants that have pockets at or below your knees. Cargo pants are not business casual - ever. Also, no pants that have a worn area around your wallet - throw them out and start over.
3. Ladies, no sandals. Open toed professional shoes are okay (in some office settings) - strappy sandals are for the beach.
4. Gents, if you are wearing a polo shirt - be sure it is pressed and in GREAT shape.
5. No matter who you are, your outfit should FIT. This means no tight pants, shirts or dresses. Err on the side of too big vs. too small. There is nothing worse than ill fitting clothing - everyone feels uncomfortable in that situation.
6. Men, Cosby Sweaters went out in the early '90's. Donate them and start over with some current trends.
7. There is no reason for fishnet or lacey tights at work. Please, don't do it.
8. Tattoos are personal. Keep them covered and out of site. Piercings too. Maybe it isn't fair, but others make judgements about you and your odd piercings. Take them out at work. The obvious exception - earrings.
9. Ladies, cleavage is NOT acceptable at work. As a matter of fact, there are studies that show a direct correlation between showing cleavage and a stagnated career. Move up the ladder by showing less, not more.
10. All, remember the 3 unacceptable "B's". No breasts, behinds, or bellies. Find clothing that de-accentuates your flaws and makes you look and feel great.
I've long said, "If you wouldn't wear it to an interview - you shouldn't wear it to work."
Look great - find success!
Ericka Heid
HR Now
www.h-r-now.com
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Job Descriptions - To be or not to be?
Because I mainly work with small and micro-businesses, I am frequently asked, "Are we big enough to need job descriptions?"
And because of the experience that I have had with small and micro-businesses, I answer with a resounding, "Absolutely, you do." As a matter of fact, I am of the opinion that small businesses may need job descriptions more than a larger company needs them. Here is why:
1. Smaller organizations often don't have the expertise of an HR person on-site, so they may "guess" more than larger companies. For instance, they may be hiring a new sales person and assume they can be paid a salary versus an hourly rate of pay. Every HR person worth their salt knows that a business owner can not choose how to pay an employee - the law does that for you - there is litmus test that can be applied to any position to help determine its status under the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA). A current and thorough job description helps the organization to critically think through the questions asked of the FLSA, thus leading to the "right" answer about the compensation of a position.
2. Smaller companies have employees who wear many hats. Unlike large organizations, who may have individuals focused on only one thing, the employees of small companies may be asked to perform several different tasks within one position. Linking specific tasks with a specific position allows the business owner to rest assured that everything is being handled - and each employee knows precisely what they are responsible for. Nothing falls through the cracks.
3. Compensation. Now more than ever, compensation structures are becoming outdated, irrelevant, and in many cases - wrong for the company. Job descriptions help to assess the qualifications and competencies needed and desired in a particular position. In doing so, they help you compare to positions outside of the company, bringing increased clarity to how the compensation structure should be developed. Without a proper comparison - you are comparing apples to oranges.
So, while small business owners may believe that job descriptions are optional - or not needed altogether, I encourage you to reconsider their importance.
Happy Managing,
Ericka Heid
HR Now
www.h-r-now.com
And because of the experience that I have had with small and micro-businesses, I answer with a resounding, "Absolutely, you do." As a matter of fact, I am of the opinion that small businesses may need job descriptions more than a larger company needs them. Here is why:
1. Smaller organizations often don't have the expertise of an HR person on-site, so they may "guess" more than larger companies. For instance, they may be hiring a new sales person and assume they can be paid a salary versus an hourly rate of pay. Every HR person worth their salt knows that a business owner can not choose how to pay an employee - the law does that for you - there is litmus test that can be applied to any position to help determine its status under the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA). A current and thorough job description helps the organization to critically think through the questions asked of the FLSA, thus leading to the "right" answer about the compensation of a position.
2. Smaller companies have employees who wear many hats. Unlike large organizations, who may have individuals focused on only one thing, the employees of small companies may be asked to perform several different tasks within one position. Linking specific tasks with a specific position allows the business owner to rest assured that everything is being handled - and each employee knows precisely what they are responsible for. Nothing falls through the cracks.
3. Compensation. Now more than ever, compensation structures are becoming outdated, irrelevant, and in many cases - wrong for the company. Job descriptions help to assess the qualifications and competencies needed and desired in a particular position. In doing so, they help you compare to positions outside of the company, bringing increased clarity to how the compensation structure should be developed. Without a proper comparison - you are comparing apples to oranges.
So, while small business owners may believe that job descriptions are optional - or not needed altogether, I encourage you to reconsider their importance.
Happy Managing,
Ericka Heid
HR Now
www.h-r-now.com
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