Conflict Is An Opportunity...
Having conflict with anyone can be terrible. It can be hurtful, disrespectful, and harm your relationships.
Having conflict can be wonderful. It can be honest, show respect, and strengthen relationships.
Lately, I have seen conflict dealt with in a less than desirable way, so let's learn from those mistakes...
Ignoring the situation
Ignoring a conflict is one of the most common responses people have when confronted with a conflict situation. Instead of actively trying to manage the conflict, we avoid the issue and desperately hope things will get better. Face it: unless we take definitive action, the situation will probably get worse.
Becoming Aggressive
This is an “in your face” approach. Some people get so energized about addressing conflict that they become aggressive. It’s open communication, but it’s brutal. An attack usually leads to a counter-attack, which is counter productive.
With both of these types of behaviors, there are bound to be negative effects. Some of which include; damaged team spirit, declining productivity, arguments, accusations, lowered job satisfaction, and - at its worst - health problems.
So, remember the Aiki Approach
Be Willing to Understand....
§ Is the gift that comes from listening
§ Is asking questions rather than having the answer
§ Allows differences to fade and similarities to come forth
§ Naturally acknowledges and appreciates the other person
§ Moves us from issue to vision
§ Creates movement from stalemate to resolution
“Learning, growing, and cooperating are goals for resolving conflict” – Thomas Crum
Ericka Heid
HR Now
www.h-r-now.com
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Building Trust
Building trust should be a conscious effort for managers, because boss-employee relationships often begin with disempowering assumptions and expectations that can cause staff members to distrust their managers and withhold information. For example, employees may assume, based on their past experience of managers or other authority figures, that their manager is looking for ways to judge and criticize their work. They may assume that their manager prefers to keep them at their current level so as not to challenge the manager's own job security. They may expect to keep to 'their place' and refrain from interfering in the work of their seniors, challenging the organization or learning 'too much'. They may further assume that it would work to their disadvantage to reveal any aspirations that do not relate directly to their current job. To be effective, a coaching manager must dispel such disempowering assumptions.
Here are some key techniques for greatly increasing the level of trust between you as the manager, and your team members.
• Open yourself first.
Share your strengths and weaknesses. Share your mistakes and achievements. I don't mean that you have to talk a lot or reveal a lot of personal details. You must simply display your willingness to reveal what is relevant and to treat your own and other's shortcomings lightly and positively. If you can accept your own weaknesses, it is much more likely that you will be able to accept other's shortcomings as well. Your team members will feel relief that they are not the only ones to have made mistakes. They will feel much more trust for someone they can know well. They will begin to model your openness.
Have a frank conversation with each employee about how you want to relate to them and ask for their support.
This is the simplest and most direct way to initiate a more trusting relationship, regardless of the current level of trust you have. If your relationship has been rocky in the past, or if you believe your employee is resistant to opening up, you may want to prepare for a diplomatic conversation including plenty of listening. Your willingness to discuss such issues directly will impress your employees of the importance you place on your relationship.
Listen to them fully.
Give them a chance to be heard. Listen beyond their words for deeper understanding of their intentions, needs and assumptions. Deep listening builds understanding and trust. And it is something that all of us can do, as long as we give ourselves time and focus. That means we have to stop both external and internal distractions and be fully present to the other person. Although listening is a basic skill for all communicators, it is a skill that can be developed further through practice and attention.
Openly appreciate them.
Be generous with your praise. Point out the specifics of their personality and behavior that add value. Many managers feel hesitant to appreciate and assume there is a risk of appreciating 'too much'. But these managers underestimate the power of positive feedback, even though they may have benefited from it personally. Have you experienced the burst of enthusiasm and initiative that comes from effective positive feedback? This is valuable energy that can be generated easily through frequent recognition and that leads to increased trust. In my experience, appreciation and recognition is only 'over used' when it is insincere. There are many different ways to appreciate and recognize people that will help you retain full sincerity and positive effect. Nonetheless it is useful for managers to also build their proficiency in giving positive corrective feedback so that they can freely give both while further enhancing the trusting and supportive relationships they have with their people.
Do what you say you will do.
Be reliable and consistent. Of course, the basis of trust is that we abide by our agreements and contracts. And even unspoken expectations act like promises that reduce trust when they are broken. For example, if you are usually calm when you learn of poor sales results, and then one day you lose your patience and blurt out your frustrations, people will lose trust in you because they can no longer be sure that you will react they as expect.
Ericka Heid
www.h-r-now.com
HR Now
Here are some key techniques for greatly increasing the level of trust between you as the manager, and your team members.
• Open yourself first.
Share your strengths and weaknesses. Share your mistakes and achievements. I don't mean that you have to talk a lot or reveal a lot of personal details. You must simply display your willingness to reveal what is relevant and to treat your own and other's shortcomings lightly and positively. If you can accept your own weaknesses, it is much more likely that you will be able to accept other's shortcomings as well. Your team members will feel relief that they are not the only ones to have made mistakes. They will feel much more trust for someone they can know well. They will begin to model your openness.
Have a frank conversation with each employee about how you want to relate to them and ask for their support.
This is the simplest and most direct way to initiate a more trusting relationship, regardless of the current level of trust you have. If your relationship has been rocky in the past, or if you believe your employee is resistant to opening up, you may want to prepare for a diplomatic conversation including plenty of listening. Your willingness to discuss such issues directly will impress your employees of the importance you place on your relationship.
Listen to them fully.
Give them a chance to be heard. Listen beyond their words for deeper understanding of their intentions, needs and assumptions. Deep listening builds understanding and trust. And it is something that all of us can do, as long as we give ourselves time and focus. That means we have to stop both external and internal distractions and be fully present to the other person. Although listening is a basic skill for all communicators, it is a skill that can be developed further through practice and attention.
Openly appreciate them.
Be generous with your praise. Point out the specifics of their personality and behavior that add value. Many managers feel hesitant to appreciate and assume there is a risk of appreciating 'too much'. But these managers underestimate the power of positive feedback, even though they may have benefited from it personally. Have you experienced the burst of enthusiasm and initiative that comes from effective positive feedback? This is valuable energy that can be generated easily through frequent recognition and that leads to increased trust. In my experience, appreciation and recognition is only 'over used' when it is insincere. There are many different ways to appreciate and recognize people that will help you retain full sincerity and positive effect. Nonetheless it is useful for managers to also build their proficiency in giving positive corrective feedback so that they can freely give both while further enhancing the trusting and supportive relationships they have with their people.
Do what you say you will do.
Be reliable and consistent. Of course, the basis of trust is that we abide by our agreements and contracts. And even unspoken expectations act like promises that reduce trust when they are broken. For example, if you are usually calm when you learn of poor sales results, and then one day you lose your patience and blurt out your frustrations, people will lose trust in you because they can no longer be sure that you will react they as expect.
Ericka Heid
www.h-r-now.com
HR Now
Management's Role in Employee Motivation
82% of departing employees will say that the reason they started looking for another job was due to the relationship with their manager. Managers, given this statistic, can we all agree that you have a special role in retaining your employees?
It is true that managers can not "create" motivation within an employee, but what they can do is create an environment that is motivating to their employees.
Want another scary statistic? Almost 90% of employees, when surveyed, say that communication breakdown within their organization is a problem at work - and creates an unmotivating and dis-engaging phenomena at the office.
Be proactive - try a few, easy tips for creating a motivating work environment by increasing your communication strategy:
1. Give effective praise that portrays sincerity
2. Deliver criticism without creating confrontation and conflict
3. Conduct or participate in effective performance review discussions
4. Conducte or participate in an effective interview for a new job or promotion
5. Make an apology that touches the heart and convinces the mind
6. Ask effective questions to probe for facts and provoke for ideas
7. Discuss conflict without offending
8. Communicate to build rapport and create trust
9. Communicate to create collaboration and engage your staff
10. Communicate to resolve conflict and reach agreement
Ericka Heid
www.h-r-now.com
HR Now
It is true that managers can not "create" motivation within an employee, but what they can do is create an environment that is motivating to their employees.
Want another scary statistic? Almost 90% of employees, when surveyed, say that communication breakdown within their organization is a problem at work - and creates an unmotivating and dis-engaging phenomena at the office.
Be proactive - try a few, easy tips for creating a motivating work environment by increasing your communication strategy:
1. Give effective praise that portrays sincerity
2. Deliver criticism without creating confrontation and conflict
3. Conduct or participate in effective performance review discussions
4. Conducte or participate in an effective interview for a new job or promotion
5. Make an apology that touches the heart and convinces the mind
6. Ask effective questions to probe for facts and provoke for ideas
7. Discuss conflict without offending
8. Communicate to build rapport and create trust
9. Communicate to create collaboration and engage your staff
10. Communicate to resolve conflict and reach agreement
Ericka Heid
www.h-r-now.com
HR Now
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